How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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