I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
