Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
