Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
