So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
and you fell through a lawn chair
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
