I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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