So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
