just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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