Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
