yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
