we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
