So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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