Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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