I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
