This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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