HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
