i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
