Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
