Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
