Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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