Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
