Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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