so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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