I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
