their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
