are you still at the devil's house?
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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