Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
