I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm just crazy horny about you
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
