We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
