No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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