Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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