Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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