Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
