It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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