i don't plan on having that self control this summer
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
