would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
