so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
