She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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