i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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