so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Hippo gnu deer
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
