After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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