im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
How does one acquire holy water?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
