i permit you to call me
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
