Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
