I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
