Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
