i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
