drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
