I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
