Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
