I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
