Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Randomize
