great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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