I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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