what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
