the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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