dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
