Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
